Introspective.
It’s a great word, it can mean so many things to so many people and it pretty much sums up how I live my life.
I am currently visiting Alaska, which is a weird thing to say because this is home. I suppose, “visiting home”, can be a thing though. I was looking out at the view, the mountains the background a stream in the foreground and a bird tracking down some food and flying off with it. It’s nearly impossible not to be stress free in this environment.
It’s also the perfect setting for introspection.
I moved to Las Vegas three years ago, for a lot of reasons. I needed a major change in my life; I needed something “different”, even though I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant – maybe I’m still not.
Either way, I did find a change. I found new experiences, with new people and a chance to live in a place where I blended into the crowd. It gave me great moments for reflection. Now, coming back to Alaska after a year and a half of being away, I find myself reflecting, almost constantly. Every corner I pass holds a million memories, a million “hellos” or “goodbyes”, I look in every silhouette for the people of my past, ghosts that can never be resurrected.
Had I never left, I suppose the context of current events would quiet voices of years gone by, having been separated from everything, however, the demons of the past thrive through the synapses in my brain.
I used to write opinion columns – and I loved it, I still do. From time to time, I may continue to do that, and I may do that again one day on a regular basis. Right now, however, opinion doesn’t seem as important to me as does self-examination.
We are all introspective, at least at some point. Some more than others, some to our detriment, some to our benefit, and I’m sure, some with nominal effect at all.
In what ways are you introspective, do you hit golf balls, go for walks in the woods, hunt, fish or just sit in the car in the parking lot? None of it is right or wrong, it’s all how we process the different thoughts in our heads.
In the coming days, months and years, I’d like to have more discussions with you about topics deeper than the headlines, far beyond the box score and more intense than just the conversation you had with your barber. (well, depending on the level of discourse in your local salon, I suppose)
I hope you’ll join me along this journey of healing, moving forward and learning. It should be a lot of fun.
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